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Archive for January, 2008

The non-birthday party

Count Dooku’s being in school was a very good thing this year. I didn’t feel like throwing a party and so I didn’t have too. I made 30 cupcakes in Spiderman tins, decorated each of them with white frosting and a black spider’s web, bought 30 juice boxes and took it all in to his classmates. He was completely satisfied. Thought it was a great party, and so did I.

No real clean up, no game planning, treat boxes, thank you cards, wrapping paper, etc. Was I feeling lazy or what? We had a quiet pizza dinner that night followed by chocolate cake (except for me of course) and the opening of three little presents. He is very proud that he is now 6 years old.

In other news, I really haven’t had much blog inspiration of late. I guess I’m going through a bout of blogger’s block. Although I think it may be due to my excessive playing with my new toy, Photoshop Elements 4.0 for Mac. I got it for a steal on ebay and it’s fantastic. Although I actually really haven’t used it for photos. I’ve been busy creating digital scrapbook kits which I plan to use in mylatest business attempt. I want to try to feel like I’m contributing to the income in some manner. Or at least earning money for that Wii I so desire.

Summer out.

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This Giveaway is now over. Winner to be announced soon.

I’m so thrilled to be participating in the Bloggy Giveaway Carnival once again. This time I am giving away one custom made blog design! This is for Blogger/Blogspot blogs only as that’s the only interface I currently know how to work with.

How To Enter

1. Visit my newly launched blog design business site, Blog Designs by Summer

2. Look through the Design Options I currently have and pick your favorite kit

3. Come back here and leave a comment telling me which one is your favorite

Rules

1. One comment per person

2. Comments will be closed on Friday February 1, 2007 at 10 PM Est. The winner will be chosen through random.org and will be announced Saturday

Good Luck!

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He’s with his wife now

I just learned that President Gordon B. Hinckley passed away during the night. Gordon B. Hinckley was the leader of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints also known as the Mormon Church. But for those of us who are members, he was more than a leader. He was a Prophet of God.

He has been the Prophet since I was a young teenager and his teachings have been a great influence for good in my life.

Yes, another Prophet will be called to preside over the church, for God being the same now as he was in biblical times has always called Prophets to preach his gospel and lead his church.

Even so, he will certainly be missed.

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Six years ago yesterday at 10:30 a.m. I was awakened by cramping in my lower abdomen.

Fourteen hours of labor, 2 1/2 hours of pushing, one use of forceps, one broken tail bone, one fourth degree tear and 45 stitches later I held my brand new baby in my arms. The moment I held him I fell in love with him. He was so beautiful. So miraculous. So mine.

I love him just as much, six years later.

Happy Birthday Count Dooku!

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My ego thanks you

So the day after I wrote the Edward and Bella post a well read livejournal user found it and linked to it. Thus began a series of off-site links to my post and conversation on all of those threads as well, with overwhelming positive response and agreement to what I had posted.

I read each comment on each and every one of these threads, my mouth salivating in anticipation of the next compliment. I turned to my husband time and again saying, “Oh, listen to this one.” One comment that still makes me laugh when I think about it went something like this, “Dude, that essay is so bamf.”

Yes, I had to look up what bamf meant. But despite the colorful language involved, I was thrilled this person had said that of my post. My ego has been well fed over the last two days.

And it made me realize what I haven’t been willing to admit.

I don’t just write this blog for myself. On occasion, I do. But a lot of the time I write things with readers in mind. I crave comments. I thrive on comments. I love it when you love what I’ve written. It makes me feel liked. Feeling liked is a happy thing. Liking myself is a happy thing. But not when I depend so much on you for validation of it.

Perhaps I’m more like Bella than I’d like to think.

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Plug for a friend

So far I’ve convinced all of two real life friends to get in on the blogging action. I’ll keep trying to convince more of course.

For now, if you so choose, I would love for you to hop on over to Ree Writes and welcome her to the blogging world!

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Sparked by a recent conversation with my friend Hillary, I have decided I need to post my thoughts about a certain series of novels written by Stephenie Meyer. Particularly the relationship between one, Bella, and the object of her affection. The supposedly uber hot vampire, Edward.

Believe me when I say Edward has been well cast in the movie which is scheduled for release in December of this year. I thought Robert Pattinson was exceedingly good looking when I first saw him in Harry Potter (as Cedric Diggory) and I eagerly await his debut in a role that will likely earn him unending fame amongst giddy teenage girls for years to come.
But enough about young hot guys whose posters would have hung on my wall as a teenager.

Besides having a knack for catching spelling and punctuation errors I think a lot about how a certain book might influence it’s audience, and what I think the author should have done differently in writing it based on that.

Can you see why I haven’t written a novel yet? I’m too busy thinking about subtle messages I want to convey instead of the actual story. But I digress.

The main audience in the case of the Twilight series, are a bunch of giggly teenage girls with egregious romantic notions that play out in their daydreams over and over, or which they speak to each other in hushed tones during sleepovers. Oh, and grown women who are often silly school girls at heart. Ahem….

***Warning – Spoilers Ahead!***

I devoured all three of Stephanie’s books, each within a day of borrowing them. I didn’t think much about them initially. I was caught up in the intense romance, the stunningly accurate view through a teenage girls mind. I identified immensely with Bella and her feelings of being so very ordinary. I also understood her intense attraction to Edward. I always crushed on the mysterious guys. The dangerous guys.

But the more I’ve mulled over this vehement love story, the more concerned I’ve become in what I anticipate will be its ending. Especially when thinking about the thousands of teenage girls who worship this series. So I say….

Bella really needs to break things off with Edward.

Let me offer up my reasons for this before any of you kick me:

1. Holy Co-Dependent Relationship Batman!
Co-Dependant relationships are never healthy and Bella and Edward have got a doozie of one going on. It may not have started that way but it’s turned into that. Grieving for those we’ve loved and lost is certainly natural but Bella took it well beyond that point, ceasing to be anything but a drone doing only what she had to in order to survive after Edward left. Then of course Edward has sworn to kill himself shortly after the time Bella has died.
Sweet? Romantic? Not on your life.

Other problems with their relationship that hinge on co-dependency:
* Lack of interaction with other friends and acquaintances
* Bella’s mental attention focusing solely on relieving Edward’s pain i.e. If she’s a vampire, he won’t struggle with wanting to kill her anymore. If she’s a vampire, she’ll finally be worthy of him.
* Feeling her life is meaningless without him.

2. Bella is being smothered
Edward and his family are controlling Bella. They may not be doing it on purpose but that doesn’t make it any better. Bella seems to attract danger and Edward feels the need to protect her. He watches her all night, she gets driven by them everywhere. She rarely does anything of her own accord or by herself and when she does she know she’ll face Edwards disapproval afterwards. Their relationship has become more and more like a naughty little child disobeying their master. *shudder*

3. They don’t really love each other
They lust each other. The only basis for Bella’s devotion and supposed love that I can find are descriptions of Edwards danger and his beauty. And do you think for one moment that Edward would have taken a second glance at Bella (other than to eat her) if he had been able to read her thoughts? He was bound to be obsessed with the first girl who had the power to block him out. They are enchanted by the mystery of each other. Is this love? No. Could it turn into love? Certainly. But book three definitely had their relationship getting more and more icky.

4. My belief in number 3 was only reaffirmed by the part Jacob has played.
I won’t tell you that I think Bella should end up with Jacob instead. But it would be healthier than being with Edward. Being around his cheerful and friendly self brought some vigor back into her life. It was good that she didn’t perceive him as a possible love interest or she may have latched on to him in rebound as she had to Edward in the first place, becoming more needy and dependent on his feeding her constant reassurances than she had been with Edward. Slowly and without force, Jacob’s friendship brought her back to life, and though she still grieved for Edward she was finally living again.

I also agree with Jacob that eventually she would have been happy without Edward. She would have maybe even realized that her love for Jacob was real and something deeper than the one she had with Edward. Alas that Edward has to go off and try to kill himself!

As an adult I’ve looked back on some relationships I had as a teen in which I was sure I really loved the person. I did care deeply about them. It was love of a sort. But not the kind that would have withstood the fizzling of passion and the inevitable changing of beliefs and shifts in personality we make until we die.

So Stephenie Meyer, if you’re reading this, do you really want to send a message that co-dependent relationships are romantic? That ceasing to live for yourself is romantic? That being willing to kill yourself over the one you love is romantic? That love is based on mystery, danger and good looks alone?

I don’t care who she ends up with ultimately (though I do hope that if it’s Edward their relationship improves) but please do us all a favor and have Bella learn to think and live for herself and grow out of this sickening neediness and willingness to be controlled.

Alright, why am I right? Why am I wrong? Keep it respectful please.

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An Award and a Thank you

Just so you all know I was never considering quitting the blog, just wondering if I ought to try to change things up, but then as you made me realize, it’s better to just be me. Even in all my emotional and writing style swaying glory. So thanks for your kind comments.

Deb over at Mom of 3 Girls has bestowed upon me a very flattering award:

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About this award: “This little award is called The Daily Dose – and here is all the important info to tell you what it is about and where it came from. This is a tribute to all the blogs that you’ve discovered that you can’t possibly live without. They make you laugh, cry, think and feel connected every time you read a post. They give you a thrill as you see them loading into your browser and you get an equally satisfying thrill when you see that they have commented on your blog”. From Xandra: creator, The Daily Dose Award.

Deb said she reads my blog religiously and doesn’t consider her day complete until she’s had the chance to see what I’m up to. Call me emotional (uh, duh) but it really touched me to read those words last night. So thank you Deb.

All of the blogs I read are ones I check daily, but I’m going to give this to:

Kimberly of Temporary? Insanity. Kimberly has likely already been given this award because I know she has drawn a lot of readers with her up front nature about herself and her thoughts on life. If you haven’t visited her blog, you’re really missing out. I so hope to meet her in person one day.

Have a lovely weekend everyone!

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Who am I?

Some of you may have noticed I’ve been a bit sporadic in my posting as of late.

I’d like to think it was all due to a certain little project (I’ll talk about later) I’ve been busy with. But truth be told, I could be posting regularly if I really wanted too. And that got me to wondering why it is that I’m not all gung ho about posting anymore.

And I think it’s because I’m confused about whether or not I like my own blog.

You see, I don’t have a focus for this blog. And I can’t decide if that is good or bad. Nearly all the bloggers I read have some trademark to their writing. Some are always funny, some are always thoughtful, some are always spiritual. And then there is me. My writing sways with my mood for the moment. I never know what I’m going to write. Lately I’ve been intense and dramatic. Before that I was finding the humor in life with children. There is no consistency in my writing styles or what I write about.

And I’ve realized that this is not just something I’m unsure about in blogging/writing. I’m unsure about it as a whole. I mean, really, who am I?

Am I the pensive, brooding woman I sense here? Am I the emotional and cautiously hopeful woman I sense here? Am I the thankful, contented woman I sense here?

How can I really know who I am when my mind is constantly shifting emotions? I’m annoyed with not being able to be the same person all the time.

There seem to be so many different versions of “me”.

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Exhale

There are moments when a flood of memories rushes through your mind.

In the span of a single breath, your pulse quickens, your eyes stare blankly, and the pain or joy of many moments plays across your face.

Then comes the exhalation. The recognition of who or what you are staring at that triggered those memories. The realization of the life you are living now. The immense gratitude or sorrow that things are not the way you thought they would be when you were living out those memories.

All this, in a single breath.

My baby was the trigger and my reaction was joy. She is my miracle. She was only a shadow of a dream in my thoughts two years ago as I struggled with the effects of a medicine interaction gone terribly awry. Today, in the span of one breath, I felt the despair and panic all over again and remembered knowing that my life would never be the same.

And it isn’t.

But not in the way I had anticipated.

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