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Archive for the ‘Health’ Category

Um, how do you end up with a bruise like this….

…and have no idea how you got it?

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Advertising Genius

I would guess there is at least one McDonald’s French Fry in the majority of the cars in America. Maybe one is laying squished under the car seat, or in the crevice next to the front seat, molding because you can’t reach it with either vacuum hose or fingers.

What is the draw?

I really believe that if I didn’t have kids I would rarely visit McDonald’s. But those advertisers know their stuff. They know that parents have a hard time saying “no” to their children’s food delights. They know how to entice our little kiddos, what with the bright yellow arches, catchy commercial music and depictions of children having a blast with Ronald. It seems you can’t have a commercial break on Nick Jr. that doesn’t have a McDonald’s commercial in it.

Count Dooku and Obi-Wan learned very young about McDonald’s. We were so surprised one day while driving past some big golden arches to hear our then four and three year old boys humming, “Bah da bah, bah, baaaaah!” The theme music at the time on their commercials.

I got thinking about the evil genius today (perhaps evil is a bit harsh, but really, even with their “healthy” selections, is there really anything healthy about McDonald’s? Not in my opinion. I’ve worked there) because as we took a day trip, there were excited exclamations of , “McDonalds!” and “A play place!!” and “Can we go der after our trip?” and “Happy Meals!”

I’m seriously considering banning Nick Jr. and all of it’s kid targeted commercials over here.

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A Reminder

It was 11p.m. She noticed that there wasn’t any milk in the fridge for breakfast in the morning. So she picked up her keys, put on her coat and boots and headed out the door. She hadn’t been out all day, so she stopped by the mailbox in the complex hallway downstairs. As she opened her mail cubby, a single letter fell out. As she picked it up, she saw her name on it and then the name of the sender in the upper left corner.

Her stomach lurched as she saw that name. The name that had almost been the death of her emotional and mental well being. The name that she had successfully forgotten until that moment. The name of someone whose license to practice medicine in her state had been revoked. He was announcing the opening of a new clinic, across the state border, and he would appreciate her business.

She tore the letter into 6 ragged pieces and tossed it into the garbage on the way outside.
She thought of how she felt about him, this human being she knew only as a doctor. A doctor she had trusted implicitly, simply because he carried that title. She had been at fault there. She would never blindly believe in a doctor again.

She now does her own research and make her opinions known. But the physical consequences of some of his treatments still linger and it is hard for her not to think of his face or see his name without feeling anger and fear.

Better not to think of what could have been. Or of what should have been. Better to strive to forget, until she feels she can think on it with less hurt in her heart.

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Can’t make up my mind

Yesterday I went and saw the dentist again. He told me we would be taking care of a small restoration. I asked him how small it was, how deep he would need to drill and how long it would take for him to complete the process. To what did these questions turn, you ask? Why to my hair brained idea that maybe I wanted to go without local anesthetic of course.

You see, me and anesthetic don’t mix. They shoot me with the stuff and my heart races and I feel so icky and panicky the whole time. And then my lip is fat for hours afterward and my face itches but I can’t feel myself scratching, etc. I honestly hate the feeling of local anesthesia more than being in labor.

So I told him to start drilling and we would see how it went. Yes, I am completely nuts I think. But he drilled as far as he needed to, going slowly and the pain was minimal. It just made me jump at times it was so sudden and cold. But it really wasn’t bad. When he had finished prepping me for the filling I was very proud of myself. I figured I had weathered the worst, oh naive dental patient that I am.

But then he told me he was going to have to put this metal thing between my teeth up next to my gums. He slid it up there and it pinched my gums and right away it hurt worse than the drilling had. But though the pain was intense it was fleeting once the thing was secured. Then he told me he was going to have to drive a tiny wedge between my teeth. He showed me this little blue thing that looked like it had been carved out of a toothpick. No problem right. Wrong!

He started to push it in, and Holy %$#*&*&#$ %$&*@&%*$!
I’ve never passed out, I don’t know what it feels like, but I thought I might do it. He saw me arching my back and drove it in real quick. I felt all warm and woozy with pain for a moment but then it started dulling and I thought I could keep going. Then he had to stretch a rubber dam over everything and that tugged on the metal thing pinching my gums again and it really really really really hurt. But I had come this far without local anesthetic and I was NOT GIVING IN. Finally it was time to fill the tooth and that didn’t bug me at all. Then he removed all the crap killing my gums and the pain was pretty much gone right away. And I was smiling. Because I didn’t have a numb face.

Will I do it again? I can’t decide. I am leaning towards not, however. I must choose the lesser of two evils and now I’m thinking it’s the anesthesia. Maybe it doesn’t always work on my teeth but it’s definitely always worked on my gums, which is where the real pain is people. Trust me.

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The Purple Shirt

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Some of you may not like this shade of purple. Some of you may not like the style of this shirt, with it’s built in shrug. But to me, this is, the perfect shirt. It’s cute and versatile. I can dress it up with a long black skirt for church or wear it with my flare jeans.

I love this shade of purple and it is very flattering on my skin, I love the style and I know that it will compliment my figure nicely. When I have a figure again. Which is why for now I will only look at this shirt. Look at it while I move and sweat and crunch and drop 15 pounds. Because I don’t get to wear this shirt until 15 of these pounds (sitting all in my mid section and double chin of course) are gone.

It’s the first serious New Years Resolution I’ve ever made and I’m announcing it publicly in the hopes that it will help me keep to it. I’ll be posting a picture of me 15 pounds lighter in this purple shirt in the near future.

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I think I have a fairly decent pain threshold.

I played roller hockey with my brother and his friends as a teen and proudly displayed the bruises and welts I received.

I played High School Basketball and got knocked about plenty as one of the shortest players on the court.

I birthed a 9 pound 15 ounce baby with a failed epidural and lived to tell the tale.

It’s not so much pain that I fear. It’s the absence of pain. The absence of feeling. Just like the kind you get when the dentist gives you a shot. I am afraid of being numb.

No I don’t care about the shot itself, that never hurts. But once I’ve been injected with the lidocaine, my muscles tense, my heart rate increases and I stay in a very anxious state until it has completely worn off.

I’ve gotten better over the years. I don’t write down my plans in case of death at the dentist office anymore, though I do still tell my husband to tell the kids how much I love them, just in case.

I try to calm myself mentally beforehand. And though I mostly believe that everything will be ok once I go, my body doesn’t believe me. Let’s just say it’s a darn good thing that dentist wears a mask.

I began with the usual warnings I give all dentists who are working on me for the first time:

* When I’m nervous I have to pee a lot, so you better let me go, no matter where you are in the procedure.

* You may have to give me a possible 7 shots before I’ll get numb enough (happened during wisdom tooth removal)

* The lidocaine may or may not wear off early. Sometimes it lasts way too long and sometimes it gives out after 30 minutes.

* If I bite your hand, remember, it’s nothing personal

So he began.

He shot me with lidocaine and after 5 minutes he tested my gum tissue. Good and numb. Wow, that’s a surprise.

*drill drill*

*Summer jolting*

“Yeah, felt that. Cold and painful”

“OW!!”

“Yeah, right there.”

*injecting more lidocaine*

*drill drill*

“ACK!!!”

At this point the dentist tested my gums again. I couldn’t feel anything which he told me indicated that I should be completely numb. But upon further drilling, yes I was indeed in pain. And that was just the beginning. He had two additional cavities to fill.

I told him to just get it done. I didn’t want anymore stupid shots (which were numbing only the very back teeth) and I just wanted the drilling to be over. So he drilled and I winced and three hours later it was over.

As he removed the rubber dam from my mouth I flexed my jaw and made a stunning realization. With all that junk in my mouth stretching my face muscles, I hadn’t noticed that the left side of my tongue and the whole bottom part of my face was numb. Why is this stunning you ask?

Because he was working on my top teeth. He gave me shots in the roof of my mouth, yet my bottom lip down to my chin was numb?!? When I told him this he chuckled and told me my nerves must be crossed. I’m sure he didn’t believe me. He said he had one patient once who insisted with every shot to her lower mouth, her upper mouth was getting more and more numb, but he figured it was just her mind playing tricks on her.

Well I am here to say that even if it was my mind playing tricks on me, it was still something I could actually feel. I was numb where I shouldn’t be numb and my one tooth was NOT numb. Even if that was some trick of my warped mind, it was tangible.

I am a dental anomaly.

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*P.S. I give you leave to laugh at my expense. I am a rather sorry case aren’t I?

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Time again

Be sure to do your monthly Breast Self-Exam.

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